No Regrets! Make Major Decisions and Overcome Analysis Paralysis

Leverage your Priorities to Stay Present and Productive

All we have is right now. You are alive in the present. The past is done and the future isn’t here yet. There’s a lot of talk about being Mindful and being Present. Regardless, most of us are still dragging the past behind us and consumed with worry about the future. Worse, you may struggle to make major decisions and get stuck in analysis paralysis. Opportunities quickly disappear while you are wrapped up in the decision dilemma.

How many times do you make a decision only to experience regret later on? Disappointment is so poignant, it cuts!  Are you constantly afraid of making the wrong decision and find yourself in limbo thinking, “what if?” What if you make the wrong move and it’s not the best thing to do?

How about this instead:

• What if – instead of being stuck in limbo, you can leverage your priorities to stay present and productive with your decision-making?
• What if, rather than wallowing in regret, you can let go of your attachment to the outcome once you have made the best decision you can with the information you have?
• What if I told you that both of the items above are within your power as soon as you understand what you can and cannot control in your life?

Overcome Analysis Paralysis through Prioritization

Prioritization is a powerful tool that not many people fully maximize to reduce their stress, manage time effectively, and ensure a healthy mental perspective. The problem is, most of us prioritize backwards. You are probably familiar with looking forward and planning for the next 3-5 or 7-10 years. What if I told you that it’s difficult to truly define your priorities this way?

Rather than constantly looking ahead – put yourself into the future, mentally. If you are 80 years old and looking back over your life, what do you want to say you have accomplished? What would you advise your younger self to seek as life goals? Here’s a hint, very few people have ever said: “I wished I had worked more”.

This thought process can radically change your view on life. Most of my clients suddenly realize that the worries that consume them right now are actually trivial.  It sharpens your mental awareness on the Big Picture. It helps you understand what feeds your soul and what will give you long-term fulfillment.

No Regrets! Your Priority Planning Matrix

It’s important to get your priorities straight for a happier life and healthier mental state. I will share with you a simple tool that will get you headed in the direction of NO REGRETS!

First: have some soul-talk and establish your life goals – your major priorities. What is it that you want to accomplish during your time on this planet? If it sound too deep – get over it, this is critical! Do you want to have more adventure, have children, be a major schmuck in big business, give back to the world, or live simply? If you are 80, looking back over your life, what do want to achieve?

What is your Big Picture?

Second: once you have your soul-talk and get your top life goals (I recommend 3): analyze them for complications. For example: if you said “live simple” and “be big in business” – what does that look like for you? If you said “adventure + kids”, how is that going to work? In other words, get a grip on the Big Picture! There will be some things you have to give up and a lot you need to have a rough outline for.

Third: drill down one more level. Now that you have the Big Picture, what supports it? What is the frame that holds your Big Picture? If you are dedicated to giving back to humanity, you probably will want to nurture your network and friendships. What supports your sense of fulfillment? Also, what conflicts with your life goal? If you love designer clothes more than food – ‘living simply’ probably won’t work for you.

Fourth: prioritize the framework of the Big Picture. For me it’s: health, family, friends, work/life balance, fun, giving back, creativity, and living simply. Notice that Health is first! Because I cannot be a better friend or support loved ones if I’m not healthy – that’s #1. Period. You have to take care of yourself before you can take care of others.

Fifth: what supports your Big Picture Frame? If you are like me and prioritize health – then what does that look like to you? Everyone has their own path to self-care and being healthy. Be specific! Also, understand that these may change over time. I’ve found yoga now and love having that as a part of my health routine. If you have family as a part of your framework: what does that mean to you?

Being specific allows you to put your priorities into context. It also enables you to be very clear to yourself about how you habitualize your life. If you are constantly breaking one of your own major priorities, then ask why. Did the Big Picture change – or did you just forget that you can achieve it? Do you have a hard time letting go of outcomes in the present in a need to see immediate return?

Learning How to Let Go

Letting go is extremely difficult for me. As a recovering perfectionist and an overachiever, I want to do everything perfectly right NOW. I get so wrapped up in analyzing all the data to make the best possible decisions! What I truly struggle with is learning how to let my priorities guide me and let go of what I cannot control. Something as simple as planning what to do on the weekend can be agonizing – particularly if you have not weighted your priorities and accepted their impact on your life.

For example, we had to go out of town and miss a significant social gathering. Nurturing friendships is essential to me, but the reason we had to leave was for a higher priority of achieving a major life goal. Letting go of the outcome for the weekend was manageable because I recognized that I am working on a significant priority. I was able to look at pictures of friends having fun without feeling remorse for not being there.

Having no regrets often means making the best decision you can and letting go of the outcome – particularly those you cannot control.

Stick to Your Priorities When You Plan

When you are planning anything, no matter what it is – stick to your priorities. If you have priorities and goals, but ignore them – don’t complain when your life isn’t going in the direction you want it to go. Sometimes sticking to your priorities means you have to give up something that brings an ‘immediate’ return. Sacrificing ultimate fulfillment for immediate gratification is, quite frankly, a sign of immaturity or lack of self-appreciation (or both).

I could have shucked my accountability to a life goal and goofed off with friends this weekend. While friendships are essential to my soul – I couldn’t sacrifice a significant life goal. On the other hand, being a workaholic in 2018 did impact my friendships and my health. That’s why work/life balance is now a part of my Big Picture Frame.

Living with No Regrets

Remember, prioritization doesn’t equal inflexibility. Nothing in life is constant, except change. We must adapt. In those situations, people that have a firm grasp on their code of conduct and have confidence in their authenticity typically make faster, better decisions. People who aren’t sure what they want out of life and aren’t comfortable with who they are will flounder to make good decisions or a decision at all.

You have to choose. When you choose a path based on the data you have at the time and make the best decision you can – let go of the outcome. You cannot control life. You can only control your responses to it. I don’t know how many times I have checked and rechecked the weather for an outing, only to be disappointed. It’s the weather! It will change – I cannot control that, just my response to it.

Having no regrets means being realistic and true to yourself. It also means that, when you plan, know what to let go of and when. When you are very clear on the ‘why’ behind your decision, you are less likely to wallow in regret. You can free your mind of unnecessary weight and be more productive based on your priorities.

A little bit about me …. my name is Erin Urban (LSSBB, CPDC), I’m a member of the Forbes Coaches Council, a keynote speaker, a certified career growth and leadership development coach with almost a decade of mentoring and coaching successful professional transformations.

There is nothing more rewarding than helping people achieve their dreams!

With an extensive background in leading individual, cultural and organizational change initiatives: my mission is to lift you up to defy your limits and exceed your goals!

Career Growth Contributor on: 
Thrive Global | besomebody.com | Forbes.com