Performing to Your Expectations

You know that little voice inside your head that tells you how you can’t do something? (I really can’t stand that little voice.) For me it particularly present when I am working out and not performing to my expectations: it chimes in and starts telling me how I’m not good enough, I should train harder, or just give up. Maybe it tells you that you will never be where you want to be, even if you try. In athletics, if you aren’t in the right place mentally, it will damage your performance. That same little voice, our inner critic, can also trip us up professionally and hinder us from reaping the rewards of opportunities when they arrive.

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The saying is: “Attitude is Everything”. We’ve probably heard this at least a dozen times and may roll our eyes, however, attitude really is everything. I wrote an article called ‘Pedaling Perspective’ which focuses on how a sour perspective can significantly hinder our mental responses to situations and therefore negatively tailor the outcome of situations. This also holds true in just about every other aspect of our lives. Think of it this way: suppose you got rejected from the job you really wanted. “Sorry, we decided to pursue other candidates.” You probably feel disappointed, let down, and a little sad.

These are all natural responses – but how we handle the situation from here is where a perspective change becomes critical. Another cliché is: “Looking at the world through rose colored lenses”. In other words, you might view everything in a positive light, see only the good things in people and situations – regardless. Unfortunately, this is not a common trait in humanity. It actually takes at least 5 positive affirmations to outweigh 1 negative! Typically, when handed with bad news, a bad day, or a collection of unfortunate events; we allow our inner critic to take control and pull us down even further to where nothing looks good to us.

I call this the Negative Death Spiral.

I have seen it take years for someone to finally break free of the Negative Death Spiral! Every situation, no matter what it was, had a negative aspect. Nothing was right and they weren’t good enough (or so they thought). As my sainted mother (she put up with me as a teenager) would say: “that person could win the lottery, but they’d complain about the taxes”. Eventually, with positive coaching, all it took was a simple shift of perspective and within a few months they got the job they always wanted and the relationship they desired (no lottery yet). Both of these things had been elusive to them for years while they were looking through ‘brown colored lenses’. It really is that easy to take control of your life, but people often fall victim to their own defeatism.

People often underestimate the power of their own influence – especially on themselves.

Expecting the worst, having a defeatist attitude, an overly critical view of yourself and/or others gives you a negative perspective in how you see everything! We see what we expect in situations and people. If we are expecting terrible things, that’s what we focus on. If we expect good things – that’s what we pick out of every situation or a person. Life is a series of experiences both positive and otherwise. Choose what you focus on wisely as this will tailor your reactions to all future events!

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For example: if you are listening to the inner critic telling you how bad your life is and how unworthy you are – you might not go to a networking event thinking “it won’t make any difference”. Or, perhaps you might not bother to put a little extra personal touch to that marketing information for a potential client because you may feel that “they won’t offer me a contract anyway”. Perhaps you don’t go to your professional mentor and ask them to give you guidance on career growth. Maybe you won’t even seek out a professional mentor at all because you don’t think it will do any good, it doesn’t matter for your profession, it’s only for people in certain industries, or individuals at a certain level of management. I cannot impress upon you how vital it is to have the right perspective!

We perform to our own expectations without fail.

Be careful what expectations you set of yourself. If opportunities come knocking and you aren’t in a good mental frame of mind, it could pass you by. You won’t be ready and, as John Maxwell says in his coaching: it’s too late to get ready when the opportunity arrives. Check your inner critic and take control of your mental perspective. Challenges will happen in life, and it depends on our response (not our gut reaction) as to how we will rise above or be trampled underneath. Be response-oriented means that you are more conscious of your mental perspective and can respond appropriately to the situation without being a victim to the inner critic.

Often times our worst enemy is ourselves, so don’t stand in your own way.