Kindness Might Be the Key to Success

Historically kindness is often considered a weakness in the world of business. We don’t want to subdue the fire and quench the passion that drives us to achieve, be successful, and move up the ladder of the corporate world. We can’t be successful by rolling over, taking a back seat, and being non-confrontational. When we think of successful people kindness isn’t the first word that typically springs to mind. Everything we are taught through mass media indicates that kindness is something we use in order to get our way. It’s in our reality shows on television and ingrained in our two-faced politics that it’s the norm to say what people want to hear and then do what you like once you’ve gained their trust.

So, how is it that kindness might be the key to success?

“People buy books on how to be healthy, wealthy, popular, and balanced. But few people are rushing out to buy books on how to be kind. In our competitive world, we seem to think kindness would keep us from achieving greatness.”     – Mike Bechtle

Kindness is just something we use to manipulate other people, right?

Wrong.

Kindness is a vital part of strength.

Kindness is a key element to a successful, healthy, popular, and balanced life. Kindness and strength are not mutually exclusive – rather: only the strong can truly be kind. Genuine kindness is not used in order to manipulate. It’s is given freely without expectation of return; therein lies strength. Kindness is something that we do because we can, not because we should. The common fear is that we will have to pretend that we are something we are not or lose our personalities in the process of being kind. After all, who wants “they were nice” put on their tombstone?

Kindness isn’t a replacement for personality.

On the contrary, kindness can be that catalyst that makes our personality more effective. It’s not about rolling over and taking a back seat. You can be positively assertive within the framework of kindness. Kindness builds trust and can be that richness in relationships. In the business world, only short-term thinking allows those that move up in a kindness vacuum. Success is fleeting, if it holds at all. Those that eschew kindness in Corporate America to make big bucks or to grab temporary gains don’t build foundations that last. Their employees aren’t as loyal, engaged, nor are they excited about being a part of the organization. It takes a long time to build trust, but only seconds to destroy it. Once trust is questioned: your follow-ship will questionable as well.

Nice guys don’t finish last.

Studies show that, contrary to our expectations, the cream usually does rise to the top. Those top executives that become a lasting part of a culture have been intentional about building relationships through trust, demonstrating that they care, and being kind with integrity. They understand that one doesn’t become kind by doing kind things to others. We do kind thing for others because we are kind and we do so regardless of the other person’s feelings toward us. We are kind because it’s the right thing to do.

Should we be kind to unkind people?

Do you remember your parents saying “don’t sink to their level”? There’s a truth in that saying and it’s not just an old-fashioned cliché. We are not kind because we hope others will change – we are kind because it is right. Period. It’s best to let go of any need to feel reciprocation in kindness (here’s the strength part). We don’t have to be outgoing and friendly to people we think are jerks, but it will do us no harm to be objectively kind. Think of it this way: when you push against something and it pushes back – you tend to push harder, right? When you push against something and there’s no resistance, you can’t keep pushing can you? Kindness is not about being a door-mat. You can be assertive and firmly kind. You just aren’t providing any traction for the negative person to keep pushing. It’s coming from a perspective of strength and not allowing others to push you out of your center.

Don’t give your power away.

By allowing yourself to become upset or pulled down to a negative level because of others actions you have automatically given your power to them. They now own you. They control your emotions – not you. That is not holding onto your personal strength. You are now dancing to the tune of their music. On the other hand, when you stay centered, calm, and grounded in kindness; only then are you truly in control of yourself. It’s about being responsive verses reactive. From a business perspective – would you rather promote someone who is reactive and emotional or someone who is centered, grounded, calm, and thoughtfully responsive?

Kindness can spread like a waterfall.

Imagine what the world would be like if everyone embraced the positive practice of kindness, even with people they disagreed with? Instead of being reactive, negative, emotional, and often illogical – we could be surrounded by a supportive, positive, thoughtful, responsive, and kind culture. Instead of seeing only the hateful and negative side of humans being applauded on television; our children would have heroes to look up to that embodied human integrity. John Donne once said “No man is an island.” Like ripples in a pond or a rush from a waterfall, kindness from one person can expand and positively affect others around them. Perhaps even impacting society as a whole.

Living Intentionally.

How many times have you felt like you are too small to impact the world? If you ever think anything is too small, get trapped in a tent with a mosquito and you will soon learn that nothing is too small! The problem is you are the 100 millionth person that thinks this way. It has, unfortunately, let to a society of selfishness, apathy, and inward-focus thinking. True success lies in recognizing that we do not achieve success alone and that the only thing we can control is ourselves. We can be responsive and kind individuals. By so doing: we inherently bring out positive responses in others. It’s a human psychological fact. We are impacted by those around us whether we know them or not. Those that seemingly cut you off in traffic, talk loudly on the phone in the next cubical, leave a mess in the breakroom, or don’t pick up after themselves at home can push you off your center … if you let them.

We control how we respond.

It’s your choice: live as a reactive, emotional being or live as a kind, responsive being. Think about who you would rather be around or work for? When you think of friends that you like to spend time with or people that you look up to, they probably aren’t hateful negative people. It’s likely that they are kind and thoughtful. Success is not only found in the corporate world – it starts at home. It starts with you. No one is too small to make an impact so stop thinking from an insignificance standpoint and realize that you have more power than you think.

Be kind and see your success happen.

 

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