Avoid the Toxic Impact of Emotional Social Media Posting

Avoid the toxic impact of emotional social media posting.

Someone you know posted an inflammatory comment. Perhaps it was just a poorly worded statement or opinion. Regardless of the original intent: suddenly you have a Facebook-style food fight where people are slinging hateful comments instead of edibles! Opinions are free and people love to share. However, you might want to think twice before becoming engaged in emotional social media posting.

The written word is open to interpretation and entirely at the mercy of the reader’s perception. Other people’s perspectives are shaped by their history, biases, cultural differences, expectations, and their emotional state. I’ve seen completely innocent posts derailed because of misinterpretation. I’ve also witnessed friendships dissolve in a matter of seconds.

[bctt tweet=”It takes a long time to build trust and credibility – but only a matter of seconds to destroy it. Be intentional with your actions.” username=”CoachEurban”]

The Freedom of Speech Myth

As a semi-public forum, social media can be either the fountain of virtuous inspiration or the soul-sucking depths of despair. In times of need, for example, Facebook has proved extremely helpful: even saving people’s lives. However, these better uses are thrown by the wayside as soon as someone publishes a post that you don’t agree with.

Welcome to America, the home of the free and the brave enough to sling mud on a social media forum. The great myths and misunderstandings about social media are that it removes you from immediate confrontation… or does it? We feel emboldened and free to say what we like. We can feel distanced from any real repercussions from our words. But, how safe are you behind your smartphone or computer screen, really?

[bctt tweet=”You have the right to freedom of speech. Be aware that: with every right comes responsibility.” username=”CoachEurban”]

Your Impact Has Significance

When did it become necessary to negatively comment on someone else’s post? If someone you know (or even if you don’t) on any social media site posted something you don’t like or agree with – it’s not your public right to correct them. Your rights come with responsibilities!

You are responsible for the impact of your actions. While you are guaranteed certain rights and liberties as an American resident or citizen – you have responsibilities that come with your rights.

If there are obvious violations of human life, morality, or hate speech it’s your responsibility to report them through the proper channels. However, in more benign cases, it’s not necessary to criticize someone’s post. You don’t have to correct others or extoll your opinion regardless of the First Amendment. In addition to the Constitution of the United States, there is at least one universal law to consider:

“Every action has an equal and opposite reaction.” – Newton’s Third Law

[inlinetweet prefix=”” tweeter=”CoachEurban” suffix=””]The repercussions of emotional social media posting are greater than you think.[/inlinetweet] I have seen friends torn apart, families at each other’s throats, and thoughts of suicide come from social media disputes. Huge misunderstandings can erupt that genuinely wound others and disintegrate relationships. It takes a long time to build trust but only seconds to destroy it.

How to Diffuse Conflict

You impact others more than you may realize. If you have the burning urge to criticize a post on social media; look before you leap. Your words have the power to wound. Those words can cause emotional harm – especially if you know the person, and even if you don’t. [inlinetweet prefix=”” tweeter=”CoachEurban” suffix=””]The greatest lie ever told is: “sticks and stones can hurt my bones, but words will never harm me.”[/inlinetweet]

“Only the weak are cruel. Gentleness can only be expected from the strong.” – Leo Buscaglia

Not only do words have the power to wound, they have an incredible impact on the person that says them. Be careful of what you post on social media because it WILL impact others perceptions of you. I have seen individuals ostracised by their friends because they couldn’t stop themselves from spewing forth toxic opinions and emotional social media posting.

Be Intentional When You Post

Any text, email, post on social media is open to interpretation. We often see what we expect. If we had a bad day or have a bias of any kind: we may read something into the communication that was never intended. Even if the intent is apparently clear to you at that moment: it’s always best to consider the impact of our response.

What are the implications of your words before you blast them out for public consumption? After all, if the post you disagree with is in contrast to what you know of the person that published it, it could be a misunderstanding. Even if you feel 100% confident of the published intent: are you posting responsibly? Are you fully cognizant of potential repercussions?

Consider the following before embarking on an emotional social media post:

• Is this post/text/email out of character to the person who published or sent it?
• What will you gain by responding in a reactionary fashion?
• What outcome would you like to see from your response?
• Are you choosing your words wisely?

If you feel that there could be a huge misunderstanding, privately message or respond to the person asking for clarification. Don’t hesitate to ask: “this is the message that I am getting – is this your intent?”

Don’t Give Your Power Away

Whenever we allow others to push our buttons and we react, we are giving our power away. The only way we can remain centered is to remove ourselves from the immediate emotion and consider our responses carefully. You might feel better for venting a few seconds afterward – until reality settles in. In most typical Facebook fury forays: the nastiness grows to mammoth proportions that you cannot ever repair!

There are ways to convey your intent without sinking into a mud-slinging contest. Even if you are being called hateful things, you don’t have to respond. It only adds fuel to the fire, validates the ‘troll’, and escalates the issue. [inlinetweet prefix=”” tweeter=”CoachEurban” suffix=””]Why give away your emotional control to someone else? It’s yours to own and do with as you like.[/inlinetweet]

Ask questions before you respond. Think about the potential outcomes. Is it worth it to proceed? Be smart and stick to the facts (that you know for certain). We rarely have all of the information but we are great at leaping to conclusions! I have never heard that assumptions are the mother of truth. Remember: it only takes a few seconds to destroy a lifetime of trust.

[bctt tweet=”A few moments of reflection can avoid the toxic impact of emotional social media posting.” username=”CoachEurban”]

 

 

Erin Urban LSSBB, CPDC – is a member of the Forbes Coaches Council, a certified career growth and leadership development coach with almost a decade of mentoring and coaching successful professional transformations. With an extensive background in leading individual, cultural and organizational change initiatives: her mission is to lift others up to defy their limits and exceed their goals.

Seen on besomebody.com & Forbes.com

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